My temper was so wild and uncontrollable I once almost stabbed a blood relative to death.....
I was so close to committing murder, then Stoicism saved me.
In 2018, I stumbled on The Daily Stoic a book by @RyanHoliday which reads like a daily devotional on Stoic principles for life and living. I read it faithfully but didn't experience my "Epiphany Moment" until the 1st of February entry:
FOR THE HOT-HEADED MAN.
“Keep this thought handy when you feel a fit of rage coming on—it isn’t manly to be enraged. Rather, gentleness and civility are more human, and therefore manlier. A real man doesn’t give way to anger and discontent, and such a person has strength, courage, and endurance - unlike the angry and complaining. The nearer a man comes to a calm mind, the closer he is to strength.”
I felt the punch from that page of the book like a blow from a heavy weight boxer to my guts. I was literally bled out my self hatred, wound up fury, lack of self control, anger, strife accumulated over the years. Growing up in an environment surrounded by angry, raging testosterone filled men made me view going on a blinding fit of rage as the norm, smashing things in anger as a walk in the park and expected behavior. I never knew that such kind of behavior was not normal. That day marked the turning point in my life. I must confess It hasn't been been easy rewriting decades of ingrained bad behavior and becoming a man my loved ones love and respect.
I threw away my old life, like I poured gasoline on my former self and lit a match, "Jiko gisei" style.
And like a Phoenix, I rose out of the ashes of my past into a newer, better, more matured me. To constantly remind myself of the effect Stoicism has on my life I decided to create a fashion brand centered around its principles and called it @marcstoic. It is named after Marcus Aurelius my favorite Stoic philosopher and Emperor.
Marc Stoic designs and manufactures minimalist, timepieces and fashion accessories with Stoic adages engraved on them. Now whenever I wear my @marcstoic wristwatch, it reminds me of what I used to be, how far I have come and where I am headed.
Stoicism changed my life completely. I hope it does yours too.